do not bitch at/about work
should have been do not bitch as much as usual at/about work
but then again, i've already failed
yesterday was a major bitch fest among me and my coworkers
try again

do not bitch

so, i'm suposed to be studying for my last final (is that an oxymoron?) of my nursing student career and I cannot, at all, focus. I've had this stupid notebook on my lap for hours, but I am totally distracted by my computer. my fault. should just leave the damn machine in another room but i can't. truth is i don't want to study. i want to be lazy. i AM lazy. 'nuff said.

rumor has it (this came from a fellow student who heard it from a faculty member) that a nursing student got caught having sex w/ a nurse DURING clinicals at the hospital. rumor has it that nurse got fired and nursing student may get kicked out of the program. yeah, the smell of Cdiff makes me horny too.

today my patient was a victim of a home invasion w/ 2 GSW, immigrant w/ some English, wife who spoke no English, kids translated till the translater got there and a brother who spent the night and understood some as well. Wife was tearful, brother was taking the kids to get somethign to eat. They were clean but you can tell their clothes were thrift store or handme downs w/ some wear and tear. After he left, the tech there told me she sent the brother off to get food for the kids and gave them $20 to do it. I told her what a nice thing to do and she said she was thankful she had the extra money to help. Here she is probably the least paid employee on the floor and yet she found it in her heart to give them money for lunch. I was totally moved by her unselfishness.

I also think I found my calling. I felt so right being there today. Unfortunately a man was seriously injured. Fortunately he had 2 students and an instructor taking care of his every need. He opened his eyes when we left today and thanked us. He frowned when I told him we were leaving. The nurse who I was with today told me in front of the instructor that I did a great job today.

I can't wait for my next clinical day next week.

i'm venting coz i have to study for a statistics final. it makes me mad that different nursing programs require different classes. a nursing education should be standardized so the same shit is required across the board. COTC in newark requires nutrition and not stats, while my school requires stats and makes nutrition an elective. doesn't it make sense that nurses should know nutrition more than the chances of a dice landing on a 6 or a 5? (you gamers stay out of this!) Stats could be for the advanced degree nurses coz those going into research need more than a friggin' associates anyway. i'm pissed coz i'm not doing well and need an 80% on my final. I started out doing well, but this last test put me in the hole. What really sucks is I studied longer and harder for that one and i still failed. i hate this class. i hate this class.
i fucking hate this class.
i'm meeting w/ the teacher today and i hope i don't cry or get pissed, that's how bad it is.
fuck.

Yep, went to dad's again for a quick trip. Took both dogs this time. I feel so sorry for Jake when I leave coz his cataract clouded eyes look so sad. So, this time I took him along w/ Sammy. We took a side trip to a lake near Circleville that used to be my party playground back in high school. Don't remember exactly what happened there, just know it happened in a smokey fog. Well, 29 yrs later I went back w/a clear head (minus a few brain cells) and my doggies for a quickie hike. Jake did well on his short little leggies. Sammy ran ahead, made sure there was no danger and ran back to urge me onward. I was handicapped by the daschund's baby steps. He did a fairly good job of keeping up with us. Each time i turned to check on him, he was coming up behind me w/ a smile and a wagging tail. He was having fun. We only stayed out about half an hour coz I had to get to dad's house. Today is Friday and he leaves the house about 530 for his eucher night at the VFW and I knew if I wanted to spend time w/ him I had to scoot. So, scoot we did. When I pulled into the driveway I saw the truck hood glisten thru the trees on the hill behind his house. The boys and I wandered up there and I saw a ladder w/ two legs surrounded by branches w/ leaves and the most beautiful fruit you've ever seen. The peaches are absolutely perfect this year. perfect. Very few have blemishes. I pulled a nice on off the tree and gently bit into it. The juices were so sweet its hard to believe a fruit could be this good. But it's only this good when it's picked right off the tree and put into your mouth. perfect. Dad had about a bushel picked. He said he has frozen so many he can't freeze anymore so he is taking some to his girlfriends at the VFW. Next week the ladies will bring him a treat in return. sometimes its cake, sometimes it pie. he's got a good deal going there w/ those ladies.
He climbed down and had to take some rottened ones out to the field for his horse, so I picked a few cherry tomatoes and popped those babies in my mouth. Not as sweet but good nonetheless. I looked around his garden and its no wonder the man is busy. He has corn in 4 various stages of maturity, some stalks passed their prime, some just picked clean, some about to be picked in a few days and others in a week or so. He scatters out his planting so he can have fresh corn for may weeks, rather than having it all come on at once. Smart guy. There were about 5 different kinds of tomatoes for juice, canning, salads fresh and just slicing. The horseradish plants are 4 feet high. The green beans tower over our heads, waiting for Jack to make his ascent. The man has a magic green thumb. he says its all because of Duke the horse and the perfect shit he makes for the compost pile. Good Duke. Dad said he didn't get to bed till after 130 last night coz he was canning beans and tomatoes.
We basically spent the next hour or so picking fresh fruit and veggies for me to bring home. It was a short but good visit. Even if gas was $10/gal, I'd still run down there for quick trips. It's good for my mental health.
So, I just spent the last couple hours cutting up watermelon, slicing peaches and cooking dinner w/ fresh produce on our pizza. I'm tired and ready for a good night's sleep. I hope I dream about climbing bean stalks and touching the sky.

I'm messing around on the laptop instead. Rich is sorting his WoW cards and the dogs are both laid out on the floor. One cat is next to me on the arm of the loveseat and another is on the kitchen table reminding me every time I go in there that she is out of canned food. I know. I forgot. I'm sorry. I just worked the last 4 days. No big deal you say but they were 12 hr days and i'm beat. I didn't sleep well last night because I didn't take any mommy's little helpers prior to going to bed. Obviously I was too tired to sleep. We had an eventful Friday at work that led to a stressful Saturday then we were rewarded with a much calmer Sunday. sigh. Morning greated me w/ hot doggie breath in my face. He's a bit frisky in the AM. Sammy, that is, not Rich. So I played "hide my hand under the sheet and move it" w/ the furry little boy till he got excited and barked. he's so damned cute. Then I finally got my ass up, showered and headed off to class. It amazes me that I can pay attention in class, kinda get the concepts and then remember next to nothing when I get home. I swear I have absolutely no brain cells left to learn anything. 5 yrs of school and work has filled it all up. "Sorry, disk at capacity. Please delete some memories to make room for more." Kinda like a digital camera.
Then I treated myself to a massage. I had $20 left on a gift card I received for my birthday last year so I trucked up to Charles Penzone and got a rub down. Walking out into the daylight was quite painful. I now know how a vampire must feel when faced w/ the rays of the sun. I wanted to turn around and run back into my little room w/ the table and the aromatherapy. It is my new happy place.
My car headed me back down 270 to see my brother for a quick visit at his store. There was a vary large Quiznos cup w/ legs walking along side him. Wierd.
Then I stopped at the store for milk and forgot the catfood. Tonight I should have gone to work out but I am still very tired. So here I sit w/ Harry Potter on the Screen, Rich next to me admiring his newly created Shaman deck and animals all over the place.
I want to go to bed and dream about vacations in the mountains, sitting by a lake, watching ducks herd ducklings along the edge. I want school to be finished.

We get a call yesterday from an area hospital saying a patient was on her way to our facility. We had no idea this person was coming, for one, and two the family was requesting security to meet them at the door because her estranged son threatened to bring his guns and shoot everybody.
Huh?
Okay, calm down.
page manager, page admission nurse and ask politely what the fuck is going on?

nurse calls back and acts like its no big deal, says manager should have told us what time patient was coming. manager calls and said nurse should have told us. whatever the patient is rolling in the door. we have no orders, no DNR, no signed consents, nada but an H&P from previous hospital. We don't even know whats wrong other than she's unresponsive.

Long story short her son was upset she wasn't going to his hospital of choice and got mad enough to threaten everyone. The story we got much later was that he was going home to get his guns. Then we heard he had handcuffed himself to his bed. whatever.

So, we had a lock down. I paged admission nurse again to bring orders so we know how to treat person in distress. and dont' forget the DNR.

Nurse shows up acting all nonchalant. I held my tongue and just took the paper work. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and asked her if she knew about the patient and the family history yesterday which she said she did, why did she wait till we had to page her to get info that patient was coming and little bit of family background would be nice. She said blah, blah, blah. I told her it would have been nice to know in advance as we are not an icu or trauma unit.
We are a hospice floor. She just looked at me as I told her how this interferes w/ the patient's treatment not to mention the other patients and families who know have to get security to escort them out to their cars. AND how it causes stress for the staff and interferes with other patient care. Security showed up and parked a cruiser in front to deter any would be homicidal maniacs and said they'd come to the unit more often.

manager finally comes down all cool and gives us a name and a color picture to look at. We have no idea what to do if/when he makes his way into the building but to call our security. They gave us panic buttons that are hooked up to their alert systems.

i'm so fucking tired an stressed out about it. the manager fucked up and didn't call us to confirm pateint was coming, admission nurse didn't call to give us a heads up on the family situation and releasing hospital nurse didn't call w / any report.
Believe it or not we are having more and more acute cases coming in and we don't even hae a crash cart for those occaisional full codes we end up with.

i'm calling legal to see if our management knew about this man's threats prior to the patient being transported. if so, i believe they put the patient before staff safety and if that is the case shit is hitting the fan and it won't be mine.

Today i'm walking my precious little poochy in the hood and we come along a little pomeranian wandering down the sidewalk. He moved away when we got closer so I tied up my poochy to the closest fence and approached the little guy. He was friendly enough and let me pet him and look at his collar. The dog license and rabies tag were outdated but had a number for the local dog warden on his license. I called from my new iPhone and got an address of the owners. Any cell phone would have done the job, BUT when he gave me an address, I went to the GPS and found the street. I was almost 2 blocks away and managed to find the right street. I wandered down the street w/ the little guy in my arms coz he was reluctant to follow but allowed me to carry him. So, my poochie and I went to the address given by the dog warden dude and sure enough, he lived there. The teenager who answered the door was surprised to see her little guy but took him in lovingly. Had I had my old cell phone I would have wandered around the streets w/ one dog tugging on the leash w/ another dog in my arms until I found the street or asked someone in their yard where it was, hoping they knew. I lived in that hood for 3 yrs but only knew the streets I drive on to get in and out. So, my new iPhone saved us time and got the little guy home safe and sound.

So, I go to dad's and stay in my old bedroom. Same bed and mattress even from years ago! Sammy is not allowed in the house so he stayed outside w/ Bridget. Those two dogs barked all friggin night long. Whatever lurked in the shadows had them so upset and Sammy doesn't bark he howls. That paired w/ a cat that likes to head butt you when your sleeping. yep, can't wait to get into my own bed tonight. Golden Slumbers fill my eyes!

For 3 days out of the last 5, I've been packing for our camping trip to Vermont. I'm obsessive. I've been a list kind of girl, but I always lose the list and end up just tossing shit ina bag and going. This time I have 2 lists, yes 2. Just in case the first list doesn't have everything. I've packed and am at a point that I don't know what to do next. It's all done. I've just waiting for the man to get home w/the truck keys so I can start packing it up. All I really have to get thru is 12 hrs of work tomorrow w/ the nurse from hell (actually she just gets on my nerves.) and then it'll be official.

i better have a good time. dammit!

Back in the day, about 2 decades ago, we used to grab a tent, some sleeping bags, a flashlight, a bag of snacks and a cooler FULL of beer, hit the road and camp just about anywhere.

Now a days, I have a list 3 pages long, and it takes about 3 days to put it all together, I made reservations 3 weeks in advance, I've cruised the net for the best hiking, dining, kayaking spots around.

Of course back in the day I didn't give a shit about anything but getting fucked up. Now, getting fucked up means the air running out of the mattress and waking up w/ a back so sore I walk bent over for an hour.

sigh, those were the days.

These cats are my kids!



Fat Poody, age 13 or 14, is about 16 pounds, loves to beg for food. Will scratch at the bathroom door till you can't take it anymore and let her in. Likes to sleep beside me. LOVES to have her head petted and scratched. Makes poops bigger than Jake, the dog. Rich calls her Smellypoody.

IttyBit, age 12 or 13, is about 5 pounds, squawks when she wants fed, hates other cats, still likes to play w/ feather toys. Likes to sleep on my pillow half on my head.

Dancer (passed away 2 yrs ago) He was the sweetest cat I've ever met. Soft, beautiful and sweet. I miss you, Dancer

Tiger, age 3, very soft fur and a beautiful face. He likes to play w/ Sammy, for about a minute then he runs off. Adopted us by walking into our house one day, ate some food and didn't leave.

Him: How about a back rub?
Me: Ohhh yeah, there's lotion in the basked on the second shelf.
Him: (sprays something on my back) It's a spray, that's odd.
Me: That's the wrinkle release stuff. The lotion is a tube.


me: ROFLMAO

Akia, you're not alone!

22 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

i have a day free to be home w/o an agenda other than a few house chores.

wheeeee! i might just run around the yard naked singing something from the Jimmy Buffet collection.

and take Sammy for a big frilling walk down to the river!!!

I love this BootLiquor Radio on somaFM. Texas 2 stepping w/a punk beat at times. killer shit man.

okay, off to do a chore.........or not